when life stings.

it is late, god wakes me up with a whisper and i look around waiting for a sign.

but instead i walk to the bathroom and see the two o’clock moon through the windows in the lounge. surely the lord is in this place.

the water hammers down and the steam rises, the shower is one of the few places to cry in college. before my toe hits the water the tears have begun to come and my words begin to fail me but i keep them coming.

why do i try so hard god when she tries so little it appears? why do i bend over to make it happen and the same is never done for me? why does the world of this relationship have to change and come down when my whole world is changing? cannot one thing stay the same besides you god?

life is about altars, it was never about the applause of being loved by others.

and the steam rises with my words and prayers straight to the ears of an all listening god. and my words shift to the problem at hand, how do i tell someone everything they are doing is wrong? how do i tell them the path was right and now it is time to change? just because something seems good and god was working in it doesnt mean it will always work. how do i share that? how do i tell someone i think they are making a mistake?

someone i care about more than i think they will ever care about me. how do i form the words to bring their life crashing down so it can be replaced by something better?

i really dont know. but god does.

i step out of the shower and my feet prickle with the cold of the tile, and then it begins to sting.

when life stings a little, sometimes the only thing to do is find the true source of the sting.